Picking the Best School When Sharing Custody

How do you select the best school when co-parenting?

When parents are sharing custody but live in different school districts, deciding the best school for the children to attend can be challenging. I’ve been involved in many situations when the parents disagree on where their child should attend school. Usually, we can’t find an easy answer, but with mediation or collaborative practices, we work together to evaluate the options and reach the best decision for the family. Making decisions about education is an important part of your parenting plan. In order to make the decision, we might start by looking at the schools and determine which one is best for your family, and your child. We also will talk about relationships that are important to your child and how we may help them grow.

About the school:

• Where is the school located? Is it close to the parents’ homes? To their workplaces?

• What are the school’s hours? Do they provide after-school care if needed?

• Is the school a good “fit” for your child? Do they offer a structure that your child may thrive in? Do they have programs that interest your child?

• Is the school a good school? Does it have good leadership? Is the curriculum reviewed and consistent with standards? Are families and the community involved with the school? Does the school provide an optimal learning environment?

• Are the values of the school consistent with your family’s values?

• Does the school provide extra-curricular activities that your child enjoys?

About other relationships

Your child has relationships with folks other than their parents, neighbors and friends.

• Who are the important relationships in your child’s life?

• Can you select a school that will maintain and allow positive relationships to grow?

• Does your child have siblings? Do you agree that they should have the same custodial schedule? If so, evaluate the schools for both children.

• Does your child have step-siblings? Extended family nearby? What is the best way to encourage those relationships in a positive way?

• Does the extended family provide support or child care? How can that best be maintained?

What if you can’t agree?

If you can’t reach an agreement, is often a good idea to schedule mediation long before the school year begins. Our office provides a free initial meeting to explain your options with mediation, collaborative practice or litigation in Virginia and West Virginia. You may schedule the free meeting by selecting a convenient time on my calendar.