During the pandemic and the resulting surge in unemployment, many parents are finding that they have lost their jobs or had their hours reduced. These parents are having trouble making ends meet and are often unable to keep up with child support payments.

Child support payment obligations that have been ordered by the court do not stop when a parent becomes unemployed. They only stop when a court changes an order that required support. Today’s blog post is going to address what a parent can do to stop the obligation when they are in Virginia, West Virginia and the District of Columbia.

Most families with children who we work with in mediation and in collaborative representation decide to co-parent after divorce. As I write this blog post, we are continuing to live in an unprecedented public health crisis posed by the social distancing requirements imposed by the spread of Covid-19. This has created logistical issues when families are spread between two households. Challenges imposed by distance learning and parents unexpectedly working from home are creating stress and difficulties. Is co-parenting still possible in this situation? It is possible, and it may be the best way to continue to nurture the emotional well-being of your children. I’ve been working with some parents in ODR (online dispute resolution), and they have articulated a few guidelines that have been helpful to them.

While our office does not offer free consultations in family law matters, we work to provide information about divorce, custody, parenting plans, and support in our offices in Leesburg and Charles Town. Sign up for a free session to have questions answered, for free, by lawyer and mediator, Brenda Waugh.

Transformative mediation was first described by Robert A. Baruch Bush and Joseph P. Folger in The Promise of Mediation.  They describe it that the transformative theory starts: “(…(F)rom the premise that inter-relational crisis is what conflict meant to people.  And help in overcoming that crisis is a major part of what parties want fro a mediator…In the transformative mediation process, parties can recapture their sense of competence and connection, reverse the negative conflict cycle, reestablish a constructive (or at least neutral) interaction, and move forward on a positive footing, with the mediator’s help. “ Transformative mediation is not therapy.  The mediator's goal is not to alter the relationship. Rather, the mediator strives to balance the parties' negotiation power while creating opportunities to address underlying issues, within the context of resolving the presenting dispute. 

When parents are sharing custody but live in different school districts, deciding the best school for the children to attend can be challenging. I’ve been involved in many situations when the parents disagree on where their child should attend school. Usually, we can’t find an easy answer, but with mediation or collaborative practices, we work together to evaluate the options and reach the best decision for the family. In reaching a decision, we often look at the following issues.

In my last post, I described my excitement when members of my collaborative practice group worked with a couple to complete the first collaborative divorce in West Virginia.  I explained the benefits, from my perspective as a collaboratively trained attorney. After the hearing, we had a chance to sit down with the parties and talk a little bit about their experience with collaborative divorce.  

Last month I had the great honor to work with a couple who decided to use collaborative law to help them file and finalize their divorce.  In the very first collaborative case in West Virginia involving attorneys trained by IACP and members of a collaborative practice group. Yes, the first one!  And a mere two weeks later, the second case made its way through the courts.

Should I call the police?

A few days I had a call from a father of a family that I’ve been working with in divorce mediation. He wanted to know if he should call the police when his wife did not permit the children to come with him for his custodial time. He wanted to document the problem.

The NLADA recently produced a webinar on new child support regulations most of which go into effect this month. The new regulations require that the states make changes in their policies and procedures to improve the processes states use to collect and distribute child support.  They direct a few issues about child support collection that have created problems for some parents. The states are required to make  changes in their guidelines that address incarceration and unemployment among other issues.

January is a popular month to file for divorce.  Why?  For many people, the new year is a time that they reevaluate their lives and decide to make changes.  Perhaps they have waited or tried to make a marriage work for some time and the new year seems like a good opportunity to go ahead and pursue divorce.  Others may want to wait until after Christmas to plan for their a divorce. Some people postpone divorce into the new year for economic or tax reasons.  Whatever the basis, if you have decided to divorce in 2017, should you file?

Over the past few months on this blog, I’ve covered many of the issues that we consider in mediation when a couple is planning to file for divorce.  My posts in this series have examined everything from how to divide marital property, how to calculate child support, and how to make schedules for holidays for the children.  Along with resources such as the free forms from the West Virginia Supreme Court, these posts may help you decide whether or not you want to retain a lawyer, reach an agreement before you select a lawyer or file for divorce, or if you want to consider collaborative law.

In today’s post, I’ll continue to share ideas on how to develop a custodial schedule in your parenting plan.  Once you have the decision-making portion of the parenting plan developed, have agreed on some of the objectives and conceptual details about custodial time, you might stumble when creating a calendar, due to unique problems in your family.  In this post, we’ll address some of the challenges I’ve seen parentings struggle with and how they’ve resolved them.

With your decision-making parenting plan in one hand and the answers to some important questions about jobs and schedules in the other, you are ready to start marking up a calendar to decide how to divide custodial time.  You might want to print out some calendars and mark them up with different schedules.  Printed calendars make it easier to evaluate the possible plans.

When you are working in mediation or collaborative law, you can create most any schedule you want to create to suit your families' needs.  

The schedules I’m describing in this post are examples of what has worked for some families. Of course, if you cannot develop a plan through mediation, negotiation, or collaborative processes, you will be stuck with a schedule that a judge creates that may or may not be as tailored to your families’ needs.  

Last week we looked at how to create a parenting plan to divide your decision making after divorce. Establishing details and processes for decision making is the foundation of a terrific parenting plan.   Create a plan with the help of an experienced mediator, family counselor, or collaborative attorney to draft a strong agreement-- built to withstand a lot of wear of tear!  Next, you’ll develop the second part of your parenting plan, a schedule outlining what nights your child is sleeping at each house—or “allocation of custodial responsibility.” 

In the last several months, I’ve blogged about how to get divorced in West Virginia without a lawyer.  The series has addressed everything from working out an agreement to filing the paperwork with the court.  During May, my blog posts concern issues about children.  Today’s post provides an overview of five things to consider when filing for divorce (with children) without a lawyer.  In subsequent posts the month, I’ll provide some guidance so that you can develop your own, unique parenting plan.  Are you thinking about filing for divorce without a lawyer?  Think about this:

Between mediations, court appearances and the Virginia Mediation Mini-Conferences, I missed writing my monthly post on how to get a divorce without a lawyer.   I’m back and this week is National Crime Victim’s Rights Week. All of my posts during April will focus on crime victims. Today, I’m addressing whether or not you can get a divorce without a lawyer when you, or your child, are a victim of crime and the offender is the other parent, or a stepparent.