Shared Custody Parenting Plan
What are the important elements for a child-centered parenting plan?
As part of Child-Centered Divorce Month, today's post focuses on the critical components of a parenting plan. A parenting plan is a document that parents who are not residing in the same residence create to help plan child custody. In other words, how to make decisions about their child and to create a schedule for custodial time. It's important to avoid using a fill-in-the-blank form for your parenting plan, as your family is more complex than a generic template. Instead, examine important issues, engage in discussions, and collaborate with a mediator or divorce attorney to create a parenting plan aligned with your child's best interest and consistent with the laws of your state. Let's delve into the components.
Decision making or Legal Custody. The primary area for parents to address is determining how to make decisions about their children. While decision-making is more straightforward when living together, it becomes challenging after separation. Parents should establish basic decision-making processes and consider scheduling periodic (at least quarterly) meetings to evaluate how the decision-making process is working. The top three decision-making areas are religious, educational, and medical decisions. In my practice, most parents share equal responsibility in these choices.
Religious decisions. A good parenting plan articulates the parents' religious beliefs and may include restrictions or preferences if those beliefs change.
Educational decisions. Concerning education decisions, a plan may include preferences for public or private schools and ensure that parents have equal access to online portals and school information.
Medical decisions. Medical decision-making often describes how both parents participate in crucial choices, selecting doctors and treatments. The plan also describes how emergencies will be addressed, how appointments are scheduled, and how parents inform one another about those appointments.
Other important decisions. A good parenting plan also covers how the parties will decide on participation in extracurricular activities, guidelines for meeting new partners, safety plans, and shared house rules. Many plans include provisions for travel, childcare providers, and other pertinent details.
Physical Custody or Custodial Time. The second aspect of the parenting plan pertains to custodial time, addressing where the children sleep during the school year, summer, and holidays. Although some parents prefer an unstructured approach, it's advisable to detail a schedule and provide a transparent modification process. This ensures both parents have clear expectations but can agree to changes if necessary.
Child focused preferences. Before determining schedules, remember to be child-focused and to discuss your child's needs and preferences. Consider flexibility, response to change, the need for consistency, and whether a posted calendar aids transitions.
Collaborate for safe and comfortable environments. Parents often collaborate to create safe and sufficient space in both homes for the children to feel comfortable.
Work and school schedules. When structuring the school year schedule, we often factor in parents' work schedules and structure the schedule to maximize time with parents and minimize time in child care. In some families, the parents prefer for the children to spend the night before school days in one house. However, it depends on the children, the parents' work schedules, the distances between school and home, and other factors to create a child-centered schedule.
Summer and holiday planning. The summer custodial schedule may consider factors such as vacations, equalizing time during the year between the two households, camps, visiting relatives, and extended child care. Finally, the plan must address holidays. In the child-centered parenting plan, we prioritize what matters to the children, striving to maintain those elements. Unlike past practices of alternating odd and even years for holidays, the focus now is on the children's preferences and preserving their traditions.
Addressing these components in your parenting plan can create a comprehensive and practical framework for co-parenting after divorce. Consulting a mediator or collaborative divorce lawyer can provide valuable guidance in aligning what you believe promotes your child’s best interests with state laws. All parents should find the best way to make informed decisions to ensure the well-being of their children and establish a cooperative co-parenting relationship. Additional information can be found on this blog regarding scheduling, shared decision-making, and sole custody or full custody.
