January is a popular month to file for divorce.  Why?  For many people, the new year is a time that they reevaluate their lives and decide to make changes.  Perhaps they have waited or tried to make a marriage work for some time and the new year seems like a good opportunity to go ahead and pursue divorce.  Others may want to wait until after Christmas to plan for their a divorce. Some people postpone divorce into the new year for economic or tax reasons.  Whatever the basis, if you have decided to divorce in 2017, should you file?

Over the past few months on this blog, I’ve covered many of the issues that we consider in mediation when a couple is planning to file for divorce.  My posts in this series have examined everything from how to divide marital property, how to calculate child support, and how to make schedules for holidays for the children.  Along with resources such as the free forms from the West Virginia Supreme Court, these posts may help you decide whether or not you want to retain a lawyer, reach an agreement before you select a lawyer or file for divorce, or if you want to consider collaborative law.

The final session of the Virginia Mediation Network spring series is open for registration.  In the session  participants will be introduced in how to construct a mediation process that is trauma-sensitive and trauma informed.  This webinar will focus how members may come into mediation with experiences of trauma, how mediators are affected by secondary trauma, and how the court system can be traumatic and thereby impact some participants in mediation.  While the speakers will address the impact on children, they will also provide a broad overview of the topic of trauma and mediation. The speakers will include Jamie E. Austin, the Regional Director for Pathways in Culpepper, Virginia and Shannon Sneary, a mediator with the Fairfield Center in Harrisonburg, Virginia.  Due to the nature of the webinar, pre-registration is required no later than May 1!  (The cost is only $10.00 for VMN members!)  You may register by visiting the VMN website.

When you have a dispute with someone that lands you in court, chances are sooner or later you will attend mediation.  In many states, such as West Virginia, mediation is required in all circuit court civil cases, and in most custody cases.  If the parties have not voluntarily participated in mediation, the courts usually order them to mediation.  The same general rules apply in Virginia and the District of Columbia.  You don't have to wait for a court to order you to attend mediation.  You can select your own mediator and discover the benefits of early mediation.

The Virginia Mediation Network is planning a series of spring mini-conferences that focus on the issues involving children and mediation.  The spring series will include both a two hour regional meeting and two one hour webinars.  The regional meetings will be held in many locations including Virginia Beach, Richmond, Winchester, Leesburg, Warrenton, Fairfax and Roanoke.

An important step in filing for divorce without a lawyer, is working to reach the agreement before you file.  An agreement can provide greater security and can expedite the process.  Agreements can be reached between the parties informally, through mediation and through collaborative divorce.

This post is part of a three part series addressing how divorcing parents might address higher education costs.  Yesterday, we addressed the question:   “How long is a parent required to pay support?”   Today, we’ll consider whether divorcing parents should agree to share the costs of their children’s college. The laws in the states where I practice do not require parents to pay college costs, but parents can agree in their divorce agreement to share in the costs.   Consider several questions before entering into an agreement to be sure your agreement is in the best interest of your child and your family.

"What do we do about Christmas?"  This is a question that comes up in most mediations involving child custody.  In mediation or collaborative law, you can tailor your holiday celebrations with your children consistent with your own family traditions and celebrations.  Whether I’m working in a collaborative law case or in mediation, we work to make all holidays, including Christmas, peaceful, unique and special for the children.  As a lawyer and mediator with offices located in West Virginia and Washington, D.C., we can design the perfect holiday for the children, together.

This weekend I had the pleasure of attending the Virginia Mediation Network’s annual fall conference.  As a member of the Board of Directors, I take great pride in being part of such a wonderful program.  The presentations and workshops were varied, representing the wide variety of contexts when mediation may effectively resolve conflicts.

Moving on after you have suffered an injury or loss can be difficult.  Mediation is often the best way to to resolve a civil case and be able to move on.  If selected early, mediation saves time and money for both parties in legal expenses.  Our office encourages clients to participate in mediation at the earliest possible date, often BEFORE filing suit, to be sure to gain the most benefit possible from early resolution.  In many states mediation is required in all civil cases before a trial is scheduled.  Even when you don’t reach an agreement during the first session mediation can be helpful.  About 98% of all civil cases settle before trial so it is likely that your case won’t go to trial.  Sometimes the progress made in mediation sets the matter up so that it will be more likely to settle quickly and fairly following the mediation.  Sometimes a further session is helpful.  If your case is resolved in mediation, you can expect a few steps to finalize the resolution.

Congratulations!  You just finished your mediation session and reached an agreement.  You may feel relieved that the pressure is over or excited that you have found a way to move forward in your life without the stress over litigation.  You may feel regretful that you didn’t get exactly what you were looking for when you first met with your attorney or filed the petition.  You may be wondering “ What if….”

Many times parents believe that the child should have a chance to articulate their opinion in a divorce or child custody case. Many courts prefer that their opinions be addressed through the appointment of a specially trained lawyer, or a Guardian Ad LItem, who may interview the child outside of the courtroom.  Another option is to include children in mediation.  While this option should be employed sparingly, for some families it might serve to empower the children and bring the family closer.  Only a specially trained mediator, often working with a child specialist, can assess the situation and determine whether or not the child's participation is beneficial.  Our office accepts cases in West Virginia, Maryland and the District of Columbia and can work with families to determine the best mediation structure for you.

Mediation requires a different physical space than a law office.  Even collaborative law needs to be practiced in an environment that is more about talking and less about creating paper.  Our office is in the middle of a transformation from an office that was something like a machine, creating calendars, pleadings and correspondence. Our new Charles Town office is going to be less machine-like and will allow for the type of patient communication that both mediation and collaborative law require.  

I am on my way to Morgantown to attend a symposium focusing on Prisons in Appalachia.  I will be joining a fabulous roundtable discussion on Restorative Justice and Alternative Sentencing tomorrow morning featuring Judge Michael Aloi, Jacqueline Roebuck Sacko, Jim Nolan and Valena Beety.  In my portion of the session I’ll be providing a bit of an introduction to restorative justice.

If you have never participated in mediation, you may wonder what’s involved. While every situation is different, there are a few things you can expect regardless of the type of case or mediator.  Our office accepts cases for mediation including elder mediation, family mediation, divorce mediation, child custody mediation, civil mediation and mediation of insurance disputes.  With offices in Washington DC and West Virginia, we are available to answer your questions and help you to evaluate how mediation may help you resolve your case faster and more economically than litigation.

Starting a divorce does not have to mean starting a war. Whether you are in Virginia or West Virginia we provide collaborative law and mediation to help you find a win-win resolution.

When you are considering divorce, be sure to consider both mediation and collaborative law as options. Both of these options are usually healthier for your family and tend to be less costly than litigation. With offices in Leesburg, Virginia, Charles Town, West Virginia and Washington DC, Brenda Waugh can provide you with mediation or legal services and help you to weigh the costs and benefits of the various processes available.